Only the Beginning
by bookunicornx
Summary: Everlark oneshot set a few years before the epilogue. The Mellarks host a small party to celebrate the new year but something seems off. Katniss has been acting very strange lately and Peeta is determined to find out why. "I hate when she cries; it kills me to see her hurting and not being able to do anything about it."


Peeta's P.O.V

Katniss lets out as exasperated sigh as she continues to search our wardrobe. Her beautiful curls bounce happily with each movement she takes. Even though I can't see her face, I can be certain she has her lips slightly parted in a little pout as her eyes dart between each item of clothing rapidly.

"What are you doing, Honey?" I ask her from my place on our bed. After hunting, she came straight up to this room without saying barely a word to me. Being the lost sheep that I am without her, I followed her panicked form and I have been simply watching her ever since, ready to help if she needs to be calmed down. Katniss turns around to face me. I was right. She does look adorable.

"I have nothing to wear tonight," she says tiredly as she ruthlessly slams the door closed. I find myself wincing at the impact. Katniss isn't usually bothered about appearances, but today she seems on edge. Probably because we have invited people to our party tonight that we haven't seen in a while and she wants to make a good impression. Of course, I understand that, but my perfectly flawed wife doesn't seem to realise that she would look outstanding in anything. She managed to make most of Panem fall in love with her even though she was caked in mud, blood and wounds.

I stroll over to where she stands. Gazing past her frame, I can see a beautiful silver dress that would make her eyes look even more fantastic than usual.

"What about this?" I ask her, holding up the outfit.

"I..don't like it anymore," she stammers. That's strange.

"What about this? It would look amazing on you," I try again, showing her another long dress in a sunset orange colour.

"It's pretty, but I don't like the neckline," she says. Okay, this is getting weird. Katniss barely ever cares about clothing. She is never this fussy. This carries on for about ten minutes with me suggesting outfit after outfit and her brushing each one off with dissatisfied comments such as "It reminds me of the Games," or "It might get stained," or even "It makes me look like a giant Pom-Pom,". Eventually I throw one of the dresses on the bed in frustration.

"Katniss! Why can't you see that you would look absolutely beautiful in anything." She starts to brush off the compliment but I interrupt her. "No, darling. It's true," I say sincerely, because it really is. Her small faces blushes crimson.

"It's not that they don't look nice, Peeta," she whispers. I'm confused.

"What is it, then?" I ask gently, placing an arm over her trembling shoulders. A single tear rolls down her pink cheek as she manoeuvres her way to perch on the edge of the bed. I follow her. I can't understand why she's crying, so I try to comfort her the best way I can. Her hair tickles my chest as she buries her head into my creased shirt. Katniss' back begins to shake uncontrollably as worry takes over my entire body. What is wrong with her? Is it something I said?

"Katniss, what's wrong, Honey? Have I done something wrong?" I whisper. She just shakes her head.

"Shhhh. It is okay, darling. Everything will be okay. Don't you worry. I'm going to stop whatever it is that's bothering you. Just tell me. You can trust me, can't you?" I attempt to soothe her. Again, I am only answered by a movement of her head. Katniss nods. I rub my arm up and down her back as the tears slow down.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," she says innocently, staring at me with those insistent grey eyes.

"You have done nothing wrong, Sweetie," I assure her. She looks unconvinced.

"How can you even put up with me?" I have to suppress a laugh.

"Because you're amazing and I love you so much." Her head buried into my chest again.

"I love you," she whispers. My lips move of their own accord to press a gentle kiss to the top of her silky hair.

"What's wrong? Whatever it is, we can get through it together. I promise," I persist.

"Could you come with me to town so that I can buy something to wear tonight?" She avoids my question.

"Of course. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, thank you," she says as she takes my hand and pulls me down the stairs. I would usually continue to ask her but she really does look fine. Her eyes are dry and a grin stretches across her cheeks. I can tell it isn't fake or even exaggerated. Katniss seems genuinely happy all of a sudden.

Fortunately, the shopping trip is a success. On the way to town, we share light-hearted jokes about what we think all our guests will wear and do tonight. I will ask her again later about whatever she was worried about, but there's no need to ruin the humorous mood just yet. Upon entering town together, my wife drags me to a fashion store that was opened in memory of Cinna and Portia because of their selflessness when making our outfits to stir up the rebellion. A huge sign saying "Betting on You" flashes on the front of the newly-opened store. The pair of us split up to find something we think would look good for the occasion. I truly do think that Katniss would look perfect in anything, so I just try to hunt for the perfect dress. A beautiful twinkling orange peeks out from the racks of dresses so I step forward to take a better look. Quickly, a small gasp escapes me as I picture how elegant this would look on Katniss. The material is made of a glowing material that changes every colour of the rainbow depending on which way you turn it. It cascades down to the floor but is not long enough to trip up in. The dress also has a fitted bodice until the centre of the stomach when it breaks out into a skater skirt. Desperately, I look for her size. I'm so relieved when I find it because I can't imagine Katniss wearing anything but this to our party. To be honest, I was a little shocked when Katniss told me her size. Not because it's big, it's just that I could just swear that all of her other clothes are about two sizes smaller. I don't question it, though. I would kind of enjoy seeing her a bit fuller rather than how she looked that day I tossed her the bread. Excitedly, I skip back to where she stands so that I can show my love the outfit. I breathe out a breath I didn't realise I was holding when she tells me she loves it.

Later, I expect Katniss to make an exaggerated deal about the rest of her appearance like she did with the dress. However, she seems as unbothered as always, which in turn leaves a forboding feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Are you going to braid your hair or leave it down, dear?"

"I'm not sure. Whatever you want," she tells me with a shrug of indifference. I ask her to leave it down because it makes her look angelic like I know she really is. Katniss gives me a shy smile as she brushes it. I need to ask her what's wrong, but that might make her cry again. I hate when she cries; it kills me to watch her hurting and not being able to do anything about it. I make a mental note to mention it again after everyone leaves. Our guests will be arriving in a minute anyway.

The night is a blur. After greeting all the guests, I retreat to the kitchen to start prepping snacks for the midnight feast. Considering that's when the new year begins, I suggested to Katniss that we all have a midnight feast. Thankfully, she loved the idea because it would give everyone something else to be excited about and it would be another topic to use as small talk with the guests Katniss doesn't have much in common with. Unlike me, my darling wife hates big crowds. She does love New Year, though. Each year, the country manages to move further away from all the heartbreak, all the disaster. Each year, more things are rebuilt- including memorials and statues to respect everyone who risked their lives in the rebellion and the Games. Best of all, each year, more hope is found among the citizens of Panem.

After all the mixtures have been put in the oven, I move into the main room. Thom, Gale and his brothers and Haymitch are talking about the new show on TV in which all the districts can compete in races. Apparently it's going to be an annual event. In the corner of the room, I can see Effie entertaining Annie with tales of extravagant dinner parties. Annie lets out a small chuckle and Effie smiles, obviously pleased to have someone who finds these stories amusing rather than unrealistic. Greasy Sae was busy spending the night with her granddaughter, meaning only Katniss and Johanna are missing from the room.

"Hey, anyone know where Katniss is?" I ask the men.

"In your room with Johanna. I wouldn't interfere if I were you. Katniss and Johanna together could be very deadly," Gale says. I let out a light laugh.

"Besides, she told me to say that she'll be down soon," Haymitch says. Gratefully, I nod my head. Knowing she will be safe, I join in the debate that ends up lasting until 11:30 at night.

Getting all the food onto plates without getting burned _or_ burning anything is going to be quite difficult so I finally go to request some help from Katniss. Happily, I quicken my pace as I hear hearty laugher burst from the door. I'm glad Katniss is friends with Johanna. Even though they can't really see it, they seem to have a lot in common. My hands knocks twice before I open the door. Both girls look up in surprise and then erupt into another laughing fit.

"What have I done now?" I ask, expecting some witty response from at least one of them.

"Peeta!" Johanna says accusingly. "You stole the cat! I can't believe you stole the cat!"

"Buttercup? I haven't stolen Buttercup," I tell her, trying to understand what is going on.

"Told ya, Kitty," Johanna says in a fake accent.

"Yes," Katniss deadpans as she gives me the death glare. They only catch one another's eye for a millisecond before once again they begin to chuckle hysterically. I'm about to ask Haymitch to come upstairs when I see something -or rather many things- that explain all of this nonsense. Shattered wine bottles and twisted beer cans are scattered across the floor unceremoniously. Katniss barely ever drinks, and I have never seen her like this before. Her rowdy and daring friend must have talked her into it.

Anger bubbles in my veins and I have to resist the urge to yell at the stupidity of the situation. I could've been up here hours ago. I could've stopped this. I can tell that Katniss will regret this tomorrow. She hates even just talking to most people, never mind acting like a fool in front of them. Not that I think she's a fool, of course. In fact, if I didn't love her so much, it might be funny watching her when she's not sober. I'm just scared that this will knock her confidence after all she's been doing to help herself feel secure again. I'm also mad at Jo for not thinking of this. Shouting wouldn't do much good as she wouldn't even take notice of me. Instead, I decide to leave Johanna to do what she wants because she honestly doesn't care what others think. In the mean time, I intend to save Katniss some embarrassment.

Calmly, I walks around to the edge of the bed Katniss is on and scoop her up in my arms.

"Come on, Katniss. You're coming with me now. Don't want you getting any more drunk," I explain as I carry her across the hall to the spare bedroom. All of our guests are going home after midnight, so we can sleep in there tonight.

"Yay! We're going on an adventure. I need my bow and arrows, Peeta. We need food. Oh! And blankets. Blankets are good. But what if it's too hot? Then we need water. And we can ride on camels! Yes! Thank you! Adventure time! Better watch out explorers! There's some new ones in town." I let her ramble on as I make sounds of agreement. Within minutes, I've found a blanket and lots of pillows. Uncharacteristically, she gets extremely excited over the blankets. Before leaving, I give her a passionate kiss which makes her laugh and I tell her I'll be back in five minutes. I just need to get the food out and check that everyone is happy.

"Peeta! This food is delicious," Annie shouts over to me. She must have put it out for me. That's sweet.

"I'm glad you like it. Did you lay all this out? I was about to do it," I ask her. Surprisingly, she shakes her head.

"No. I helped, but it was mostly Effie." Ah, I can see now. Each type of food is placed in specific places on the plates. The colours mix together and form a simple pattern on each plate. Only a perfectionist as careful as Effie could've done this. It looks fantastic, but I feel bad for the sorry person who eats the centre of the sunflower that is laid out in the middle of our grand table. At the minute, everyone is enjoying the treats and chatting enthusiastically. I locate Haymitch hunting through the store of liquor we keep in case he ever runs out and I plod over to him. It's nearly new year so I would like to spend the 10-second countdown with my wife.

"Haymitch, can you help me with something?" He doesn't bother to hide a sigh.

"What's up, kid?"

"Katniss is...drunk." There's really no other way to put it. She's too drunk to be seen without doing something unnecessarily regrettable. Haymitch guffaws at the suggestion.

"Really? Doesn't seem a very Katniss thing to be," he says. I don't know what he's saying about her, but I don't like it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say defensively. His hands shoot up in defence.

"Nothing, nothing. Just something I'd like to see." I cross my arms over my chest.

"Well, you're not going to. She's staying upstairs. I need you to tell everyone that she's ill and sleeping." Haymitch is good at bluffing for the sake of others, whether he likes it or not.

"Sure, but you owe me one, boy," he says.

"Sure," I say with a chuckle, for we have long since stopped keeping track of who owes who in this trio of "victors".

Carefully, I lean down to kiss Katniss as I lay down next to her. From downstairs, we can hear the countdown starting from 60 seconds. Her eyelashes flutter open dreamily.

"Hello, Honey, it's nearly new year," I say to her.

"Good," she smiles. We both join in with the chorus in counting down until we leave behind this year and replace it with one filled with more hope. Through it all, our eyes are connected by an invisible force.

"Happy new year, Katniss! I'm looking forward to spending it with you."

"Happy new year, Peeta! I love you so much." I'm wondering how she managed to get almost sober so quickly, but then I remember that she's a doesn't need much alcohol to push her over the edge of sanity. The emotional roller coaster she's been on today probably made her look more drunken, too. Knowing Katniss and Johanna, Katniss must've only had one or two bottles and the rest were from Johanna. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I love you so much, Honey," I say to her. She pulls me in for a romantic kiss. Tenderly, my hands reach up to cup her warm cheeks. Hers tangle in my messy hair expectedly. I tug her closer to me to deepen the kiss. She smells deliciously like outdoors, berries and like... Katniss. I know that I'm telling the truth when I say that I couldn't live without her. My wife is my world. We keep each other going through the nightmares, flashbacks and anything else that stands in our way. In most ways, I still don't understand why she even likes me, although I'm incredibly lucky that she does. When we pull away, it's not because we want to. We give each other a loving glance before I tell her I have to say goodbye to everyone.

"You just get some sleep. I'll be back before you know it." I think she tries to nod her head at me as sleep takes over her whole being. By the looks of her, she'll be sober in just a few hours. That's good, because seeing Katniss with a hangover would shatter my heart.

It's 01:00 am after I've cleared up all the dishes with a little help from Annie. Just about all of our guests are saying goodbye and getting ready to leave. I stand at the door and cheerfully wave goodbye to each person. I even manage to wish Johanna a happy new year when she stumbles out of our doorframe. Some people ask me how Katniss is doing but I just tell them that she's sorry for leaving early and wishes everyone a happy new year.

"Happy new year to both of you! See you soon!" Effie says as she hurries to catch up with everyone else. I can feel a presence behind me so I turn around to see our neighbour giving me a concerned look.

"How is she?" He asks me. I'm startled by the sensitivity in his voice. Even though he would never admit it, Haymitch really does care about us.

"She's okay, thank you. She didn't drink as much as I thought."

"Shame," he says, showing me he's back to his sarcastic self. "Happy new year, I suppose."

"You too, Haymitch. See you tomorrow." He holds his hand up as goodbye while he walks away to his gigantic mansion of a house.

I wake up through the night to Katniss thrashing next to me.

"No!" She screams. "Peeta! Don't leave me! Save her, Peeta! Please!" It sounds horrific. I get up as quickly as I can and wrap my arms around her trembling body, rubbing one hand up and down her spine.

"Shh. It's okay, Katniss. I'm right here and I'm never going to leave you. Don't worry about me," I say in attempt to stop her night terrors. I wish I could take them away- even if it meant I had them instead. The thrashing stops the same minute tears start to pour out of her eyes like a river. It kills me to see her like this. Her calloused hand darts up to my face to check that I am real. She turns to face me with her soaked face.

"Peeta," she breathes a sigh of relief.

"It's okay. I'm here." She continues panting.

"But it was so real. Snow had taken you and..." She doesn't finish. Katniss is hiding something, but now isn't really the time to start an enquiry.

"It's not real. Look. I'm here. I'll always be with you," I tell her. Her unblinking eyes penetrate my skull until she hugs me. A small moist patch forms on the front of my shirt although I think she has calmed down.

"Peeta?" She asks timidly.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" I need to know. Now. It's causing her too much heartbreak.

"There's something I need to tell you but.. I'm really sorry for the way I've reacted to it," Katniss apologises.

"Just tell me. We can get through this together," I promise her. No matter what, I will be by her side.

"It's... good news. We both wanted this. I'm just scared, Peeta. I didn't think I would feel like this."

"Katniss, I need you to tell me so that I can help," I explain. She still looks hesitant but she takes a deep breath and tries to meet my gaze.

"I'm.. I'm pregnant, Peeta." My mind zones out to process the information. She's pregnant. It all fits together now: her clothes being too small, the moods swings, how worried she's been today and that must have been what she told Johanna. Oh my gosh! We're going to be parents! I couldn't imagine anything better to start the new year.

"Katniss.." For once she has left me speechless. I pull her into a giant bear hug.

"I wanted to tell you in a better way, but I couldn't wait. I was too scared. Sorry," she says. Nothing could ruin this day in my mind.

"Katniss, everything is fine. Better than fine, in fact. You can tell me anything, Katniss. I mean it." I gently pull back to look at her and wipe away the tears that are rolling down her scarred skin.

"Hey, don't worry. I couldn't think of a more fantastic way to start this year. You're going to be an amazing mother," I say, because she really will be. Katniss obviously doesn't believe me.

"I won't. Not as good as you will be an amazing father. What if something happens to it?" This is why she is so worried about letting people in. She thinks she might not be able to protect her child, but I know better.

"Nothing will happen. I won't let anything happen. If anyone threatens her, they'll have to go through both of us," I tell her.

"Her?" She asks me.

"What are you talking about?"

"You said her," she says almost accusingly. I only then realise that I've just referred to the baby as a female, like she did in her dream.

"It's a feeling," I shrug. We share a smile as we lie back down. I wrap my arms around her from behind as she snuggles into me.

"Don't you worry, Honey. Everything will be okay and if anything goes wrong, we'll get through it together." She squeezes my strong hand with her more delicate one.

"Thank you so much, Peeta. I love you," she tells me as she turns to look at me.

"I love you, too. Happy new year," I say, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. She gives me one of her rare yet priceless grins.

"Happy new year, Peeta. I'm looking forward to spending it with you and our daughter," she steals my words from earlier.

"Me too," I tell her as she turns back so her back is pressed against my beating heart. We both sleep well tonight. Neither of us has any more nightmares as we stay curled up in each other all night. Excitement and love threatens to hijack my whole body. Today has been the best day of my life, and this is only the beginning.

**Author's note: I'm aware this isn't my best work but hopefully you still enjoy it. Please remember to let me know what you think by reviewing. Happy new year! Hope you have a good one! :~} **


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